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It’s on my personal vision board for 2018. In between a picture of a breath taking turquoise lagoon with white sandy beaches and Tony Robbins: “A woman with a mission!” Small, cyan blue letters on a white background. If you’d have to find it you’d have to look for it really well I guess. Yet, for me personally it sums up pretty nicely what I want to accomplish in 2018.
I am no exception to many of you reading this. Looking for fulfilment. Carrying this desire to positively impact. To touch other peoples lives. To connect. To find more belonging. To use the stones in my backpack I have been carrying around for way too long. To share. To teach. To support. To inspire. The older I get, the more pronounced the desire. And luckily, the older I get, the less I care about what other people think about me.
That might be the biggest liberation ever. Not having to live up to those unfeasible standards anymore. I now know they were nothing but self imposed. We are simply good enough as we are. We all deserve to be right here and right now. With all our flaws. With all our imperfections. To be able to live life well. To experience something extraordinary every day. To be loved just the way we are, not in the least by ourselves!
But what if you don’t know who you really are? Or what you really want?
Yesterday I was talking to a potential coaching client, touching the theme of connecting to your own heart. With a clear question: How to? How do you connect to your heart? How do you listen? How do you hear what it says? How to find true fulfilment in work and life? How do you find your “true North”?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to that question. You can try meditation. Heart-focused compassion. Breathing techniques. Transformational learning. Practicing gratitude. Or simply take the time for self-reflection. I know a lot of that doesn’t come easy to many of us. What if you do not know how to slow down? What if you have too much to lose once you open the door to things that have never seen the daylight before? What if you are too scared to hear what your heart might be telling you?
I do believe that is where my mission lies, as a coach, and as a human being. In business as well as in life. When you get stuck in too much head, too much ratio, I’ll bring you a healthy dose of heart. In your work. And in your life. It is my mission to offer you a safe environment where it is okay to take a look at your dear, precious and vulnerable heart. When you get stuck in analysis (my guess is only to not having to jump), I’ll gently push you out. And as I’m pretty experienced with getting stuck in emotions myself (if you allow them), I’ll show you how to get out if that is what is holding you back.
In an interview a while ago I was asked what I believe to be the most important trait leaders will need in the future. Without hesitation I answered it to be authenticity. Although I know I might be skipping a lot of modern trend words, for me authenticity is living and by consequence leading others with your heart and your head aligned. In leadership as well as in personal leadership.
Some of us tend to think too much. Whilst others tend to feel too much (I know I do). Find the right counterpoise to your preferred style and you’ll be able to connect head and heart. Find the right balance and you’ll be able to find your purpose. To lead an authentic life. To hear and share your hopes. To understand and follow your dreams. To make the best use of your qualities and your imperfections. To be able to tell the true story about who you are. To yourself. And to others.
As I am right now. A perfectly imperfect woman. With a tendency to feel too much. My pitfall. And above all my biggest quality. A woman on a mission!
My question(s) to you:
- How do you close the gap between your heart and your brain?
- What is your preferred (personal)(leadership) style (heart or head) and how do you counterbalance?
- How were you able to find your mission in life? Or if you haven’t (yet), what is your biggest struggle going forward?
Looking forward to your thoughts!
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About the author
Being a certified executive and personal coach, Sofie Varrewaere is associated to the Marshall Goldsmith Stakeholder Centered Coaching team and owner of the global executive coaching practice BigFish4.me. As a behavioural expert she has many years of experience working with the top layer of several multinational organizations. Her passions include playing her quarter grand piano and messing around with acrylic paint on large sized linen canvas. When she’s not catching some proverbial Big Fish, you’ll probably find her in her daily boxing class or in the swimming pool. She is luckiest doing what she does best, challenging others and herself to perform at their best