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Happiness. Isn’t it the óne thing we are all looking for? It often lies in the balance we’d all love to find. Work. Life. Career. Family. Ambition. Health. So you want to be Happy. Let’s assume we all do. But is it accidental? Do you need to deserve it? Or maybe it’s just something coming up when enough wished for? Inspired by a quote of Jim Rohn, and based on my experience as an executive Coach, I came up with 5 easy steps to design your own Happiness.
Step 1: Train your mind to think positive
We all know the power of positive thinking. It’s the story of the glass half-full. Consciously influencing your mood and feelings by thinking differently. Turning thoughts around on a conscious level. Seeing in terms of “what is” instead of “what might be” or “what isn’t”. Quit focussing on your weaknesses or shortages in situations. Start building on your strengths. Find the challenge in difficult situations. See opportunities instead of stumbling blocks. Whether we’re talking work, relationships, serious challenges or your own self-image, I am sure you can find lots of practice situations everywhere in your life. So just try it. Scan your own thoughts and make a conscious change when needed.
Step 2: Practice self-reflection
When feeling dissatisfied, we tend to look at what others do instead of evaluating our own share. Look at your own relationships or marriage for an example. Consequence is you will often find yourself in the role of victim. Things happen to you. Whether they are positive or negative. So in that case you could say Happiness is accidental. And there is not much influence you can have on it. But is your Happiness really depending on your boss, your husband or wife, your friends, your colleagues? I don’t think so. If you really want to BE Happy, don’t put the responsibility for it outside yourself. Ask yourself what you can do to maximise it. And don’t forget to think positive when focussing on your own share. Build on your strengths.
Step 3: Live in the moment (and enjoy the little things)
For many years I thought this was the biggest clincher I ever heard. Oh yes, I could enjoy the little things. But as if it is that easy to just count your blessings when you are facing lots of shortcomings in your life. Fortunately now I know better. But to be honest, it took me a lot of practice. Why? Because I am, as most of you are, very ambitious in everything I do. Whether it is work or Life. Always striving for something better. And yes, “becoming” Happy was always on top of my list. But one day I just decided to BE Happy. I stopped thinking about what I had not reached yet. And started enjoying the things that already were. The little things. With a positive mind, and lots of self-reflection. In the moment.
Step 4: Follow your passion
I believe following your passion might be one of the most important actions to instantly increase your Happiness. At least that is what I recently experienced myself when starting my own company and moving countries. Being around 40 I see a lot of peers trapped in a golden cage. Whether it is work or private. Excellent salary, extra-legal benefits, nice company car (with fuel card of course). Somewhere along the way people got stuck. Lost the passion. In need of security. Longing for challenge. Again, counting your blessings might offer you a solution, or positive thinking, and self-reflection. But whatever you choose, make sure you are passionate about your decision. And overcome your fears. After all, life is not a dress rehearsal.
Step 5: Allow yourself to be Happy
None of the things above will lead to Happiness if you don’t really allow yourself to be Happy. Sometimes Happiness is just around the corner. All you need to do is pick it up. Believe you are worth being Happy. No regrets. You are allowed to make mistakes and still be Happy. So let go of anything that holds you back. Forgive yourself. And don’t fear success.
“Happiness is not an accident. Nor is it something you wish for. Happiness is something you design.” Jim Rohn
Besides all leadership and personal performance issues we’re handling during Coaching, the quest for Happiness is never far away. So if you want to know more about what we do at BigFish4.me, contact us: firstname.lastname@example.org.
I’ll be Happy to talk to you!
Sofie Varrewaere is the founder of BigFish4.me. After studying a Master in Psychological and Pedagogical Sciences, she ogled into the magical world of Recruitment, Selection and HR Services. Working for the world leader in HR, she has always been in an advisory role in relation to the larger goals of several multinational organizations. In 2013 she started her own company in International executive Coaching. Doing what she is good at, challenging others as well as herself.